


As You Wish

by kat_snow2613



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), Princess Bride (1987)
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Fluff, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 07:16:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9590918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kat_snow2613/pseuds/kat_snow2613
Summary: This is a Jonsa Princess Bride Crossover.Yes, you read that right.





	

The little Stark lordling sat in bed, buried under a pile of furs, coughing miserably.

“Fine!” he consented to Old Nan’s story.  “But it had better not be one of those kissing stories!”

“We’ll see, my little lord.”

* * *

 

There was once a beautiful highborn girl with long red hair, named Buttercup.

As she did her chores, she would order about the Farm Boy who worked in her father’s stables.

“Farm boy!  Polish my saddle!  I want it to glisten in the sun,” she would say with a flip of her hair. 

“As you wish,” he would reply.

“Farm boy!  Fetch me that bucket!” she would demand.

“As you wish,” he would say, his dark curls falling into his gray eyes.

She did not know, that every time he said ‘as you wish,’ he was really saying, “I love you.”

In time, the highborn girl grew to love the Farm Boy as well.   

It did not matter, for the Farm Boy was sent to the Night’s Watch, where he would serve for life.

They said goodbye outside the castle walls, holding each other one last time.

“I will never see you again,” she cried.

“I will always find you, because our love is true love,” he said, and kissed her.

* * *

 

“This IS one of those kissing stories!  I knew it!” the little lordling protested.

“Just wait, my sweet boy,” Old Nan replied.

* * *

 

When the Farm Boy was sent to the Wall, Buttercup had grieved.

But then, a report arrived.  His party had been set upon by widlings.  There were no survivors.

She took to her chamber and cried for days.

She swore to never love again. 

It did not matter, because soon the Prince demanded to marry Buttercup, and no one could refuse the Prince.

At first, he seemed kind.  But soon he had his men beat her, and in truth he planned to kill her as soon as he had a babe off of her.

Then, she was kidnapped by a merchant.   At first, he also seemed kind.  But in truth, he sought to use her to start a war between the kingdoms to make himself wealthy.

Finally, she was stolen by a terrible pirate dressed all in black, with his face hidden.  He did not seem kind.  In fact, he was dreadful.  He was dangerous as well, besting the merchant’s guards in sword fight.  Then, he accused her of never loving the Farm Boy, as she so quickly loved another.

“How dare you!” she shouted.  “It was true love, you’ll never know anything like it!  I died that day! Oh, why don’t you just fall off of this mountain!” she shouted, pushing him down the icy hill.

“As…you…wish….” his voice echoed off the icy terrain.

“Oh, Jon!” she realized, and flung herself down the hill after him. 

She found him laying at the bottom of the ravine.

“Oh Jon,” she cried, kissing him. “I thought you were dead!  I thought wildlings had killed you!”

“They took me North of the Wall and brought me to their King.  Everyday, the King told me, ‘Goodnight Jon Snow, I’ll likely kill you in the morning,’ but he never did.  Finally, after I gained his trust, he said I must captain one of his fastest ships, and find all of the obsidian that I could.  But when I heard you’d been kidnapped, I had to come find you,” Jon explained as he guided her through the forest.  It was riddled with ice pits and the Mountain Clans of Extraordinary Size, but he knew the way out safely.

When they were finally safely out of the forest, a group of the merchant’s men set upon them and took Buttercup back from Jon.  She screamed as they pulled her from him.  Jon stayed calm.

“I will always find you, as our love is true love.”

Some of the merchant’s men rode off with Buttercup.  A few of them remained with Jon.  Once she was far enough away, they put their daggers in his belly.

He lay there, until Tormund the Giantsbane and Davos Seaworth found him.

“I might know someone who can help.   Fetch me that wheelbarrow,” Davos said, stroking his fingerbones for luck.

They brought Jon to the Red Woman.  She looked at him slowly and carefully.

 “He is not completely dead.  Only mostly dead,” she said at last.

“Can you help him?” the Giantsbane asked.

“I have these chocolate ganaches.  We can try that,” she said, forcing a chocolate in between his teeth.

He awoke, gasping.

“I hate chocolate!” he spat.

Tormund the Giantsbane and Davos Seaworth were thrilled to have Jon back.  He was forlorn.

“My mission was to find obsidian and rescue Buttercup, and I have failed at both,” he mopped.  He was prone to mopping.

“You need obsidian?  I know where we can get obsidian!” Ser Davos cheered. 

They loaded their ship with as much obsidian as it could hold and set sail for White Harbor, where they would then continue to Winterfell and join with the King Beyond the Wall.

“How will we ever get into the Walls of Winterfell!” Jon lamented.  “Perhaps if I had a month to plan.”

The King beyond the Wall was never one to waste time.  “Well, I have a holocaust clock, and a ruby glamour.  Will that help?” he asked.

“A holocaust clock and a ruby glamour?  Why didn’t you list that among our assets to begin with?”  They began their plan.

The lady Buttercup was being held within Winterfell.  The merchant was going to marry her to yet another terrible boy.  She was really getting sick of this shit. 

Jon, Davos, Tormund, and Mance stormed the castle.  It wasn’t that hard because everyone hated the new family that lived there and wanted to see them destroyed.

Only the merchant resisted.  He took off his gloves, hoping to negotiate for a  place of privilege in the new regime.  When he removed his gloves, he revealed that he had six fingers, although one was very little.

Everyone gasped.  It was known that the man who killed Buttercup’s father had six fingers.

“Hello, my real name is Sansa Stark.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die,” she stated. 

The men seized the merchant and Sansa took Jon’s sword.  She beheaded the evil merchant.

Everyone else worked together and used the obsidian to fight back the wights.  They had obsidian, and true love, and everyone knows that wights hate true love.  Finally, they were destroyed.

The Farm Boy was now the King, and Buttercup was now the Queen. 

They were married in front of a weirwood tree.  They kissed beneath its red leaves, under the falling snow.  In all of the history of kisses, there have been five truly great kisses.  This one left them all behind.

* * *

 

Jon and Sansa let themselves into their youngest boy’s chamber.  He’d been sick with a cold for a few days now.  Old Nan was seated by his bed. 

“Mother!  Father!  Old Nan just told me a story.  It was about a boy and a girl who were in love, but they were separated, and the boy went beyond the wall, and rescued the girl, and then she executed the villain and they became king and queen!” little Brandon rushed out excitedly. 

“My goodness, that sounds like quite a tale,” Sansa said, sitting on his bed and stroking his face to check his temperature.

“That was kind of Old Nan to tell you such a story.  But you have to go to sleep now,” Jon said, kissing his son’s head.

They tucked Brandon into bed and had one of the Sansa’s handmaidens see Nan to her own room. 

Alone in the hall, Jon kissed Sansa.  “My Buttercup,” he whispered to her.

Sansa laughed.  “It was wise of Nan to use my nickname.  If he knew who the story was really about he wouldn’t have wanted to hear it.  Shall we go to bed now?” she asked, taking Jon’s hand.

“As you wish.” 


End file.
